Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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