A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
