I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My vagina is officially offended.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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