he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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