Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I cut my penus on the lid.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
