At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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