hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
