I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
