I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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