YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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