i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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