oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
