chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
