So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
