i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
