I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
