My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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