But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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