my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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