You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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