He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
