i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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