i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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