I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
