Define "chronic" masturbator.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
