I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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