the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
