Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
