i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
