I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I could fuck to npr.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
