this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
