he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
