One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
