Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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