You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
