I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
