Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
