fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
