I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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