I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sarcasm needs its own font
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
