I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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