Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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