the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pooping to opera.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
