I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
