Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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