adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
