You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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