I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
