I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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