Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
