i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
