anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Found your dick twin last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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