You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
