Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
