You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
