last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
