Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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