The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
