Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
