she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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