He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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