Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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