He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
