i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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