Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
