do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
