If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
