A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
