I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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