I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
