Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
