Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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