Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she looked like the before picture.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
