i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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