Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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