we have officially lost it.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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